Archive for the ‘alcohol’ Category

Excellent news for the world

Sunday, July 13th, 2008

I proudly announce the creation of the Publican Party, just in time for the November elections.

Unlike other, lesser political parties, the Publican Party has a single issue: alcohol.

Behold, our platform, and despair:

  • The lowering of the federal legal drinking age to 18 (a year younger than most of Canada! finally, drunken teens with cash will flood to OUR side of the border!)
  • The raising of the legal driving age to 19 (they’re drinking anyway; why not give them a year to figure out what they’re doing, before we arm them with large blunt objects?)
  • more draconian enforcement of Blood Alcohol Content (why should we let Saudi Arabia have all the fun?)
  • and, on a local level, the instantaneous and irrevocable dissolution of the OLCC and WSLCB, and their replacement by some sort of sane regulatory body.

Thank you, and goodnight. Don’t forget to tip your bar staff.

One of the things I remembered

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

Originally, I’d meant to post more African & African-American content during the month of February, when by law and by custom we in English-speaking North America bother to pay attention to the accomplishments and struggles of the African Diaspora. The conspiracy-minded might point out that February is the shortest month of the year.

Anyway, I kinda screwed that up, which is embarassing, because I ran across a lot of great content that I just kept forgetting to put up. Situation remedied, starting now.

self-trained repairmen of Nigeria. I was reading something a while ago, about how cheap low-end electronics, or even much of a resale market, are a phenomenon that you just don’t see in most of Africa. People buy the best they can, so that it can last long enough to be run into the ground, rebuilt, and run into the ground again. Of course, what this means is that to capture the low-cost end of the market, a lot of people end up handicrafting their own devices, many of them to fit needs that there are no factory-made tools for. Welcome to the world of afrigadget.

Notable tinkerers of recent history include young Mr. William Kamkwamba, electrifying rural Malawi one handcrafted windmill at a time, and Dr. Cedrick Ngalande, creator of a fermentation-powered generator. Mmm, beer (but probably not).

Monday, December 10th, 2007

drambuie research in Australia

Jon, your thoughts?

Tuesday, November 27th, 2007

rehab. I finally understand why people actually care about amy winehouse; this song, at least, sounds to me like someone else misses there being no new Motown for the past 30-odd years.

jack daniels in danger

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

A quirk in Tennessee state law may result in the untimely execution of thousands of bottles of vintage whiskey

happy new year

Monday, January 1st, 2007

happy new year

wikipedia is for drinking

Thursday, December 21st, 2006

Buckfast Tonic-Wine
Jabol: It is the only wine that comes with sell by date marked on the label.
Pruno: At least it’s not fermented prison rations…oh, wait, never mind
Kilju: Making kilju without fruit or berries is illegal in Finland. (well, that’s reassuring)
Moonshine around the world: The most popular source for samogon is sugar as it is quite effective. Other sources include beets, corn, and even plywood.

photos from comicon

Monday, July 31st, 2006

Never been. But if these random photos I found are any indication, maybe I should.

warsaw’s finest

Tuesday, July 18th, 2006

I had forgotten exactly how fabulous Attacked By Thugs! is, a brief account of the author’s assault by a bunch of punk kids, followed by a long account of the violent but utterly fruitless attempts of the cops to find the perps.

“I was assaulted by four guys just past that bridge!” I yelled when i got in the van. I barely had time to get my foot off the pavement before we were shooting down the highway in the wrong direction, sirens blaring, shotguns skittering around on the floor.

“MOTHERFUCKERS!” yelled the driver. “MOTHERFUCKING COCK FUCKING SONS OF MOTHERFUCKING BITCHES!”

There were six cops in the van with me, dressed in full black uniform and combat boots. There were various firearms and body armor piled on the floor, left over from the WTO summit the week before…We were still heading the wrong direction, and whoever had designed the Warsaw highway system had not apparently heard of the U-Turn.

how to open a beer…

Wednesday, June 21st, 2006

using a variety of nonstandard methods

Texas’ latest affront against humanity

Monday, March 27th, 2006

Undercover agents for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission are infiltrating bars to arrest people for public intoxication. According to the Commission’s Carolyn Beck, “Being in a bar does not exempt one from the state laws against public drunkenness.”

nonstandard story structure

Friday, February 3rd, 2006

An entire short story, told mostly in fragments of jokes

(Reminded me structurally of Noah Baumbach’s The Zagat History of my Last Relationship — I can’t find a free copy online, so you’ll have to live with this snippet:
Be careful not to combine ‘four dry sakes’ with your ‘creeping feeling of insecurity and dread,’ or you might find yourself saying, ‘Wipe that damn grin off your face!’ . . . The hip East Village location can’t be beat, since her apartment is ‘within walking distance,’ which makes it very convenient if you should choose to ‘lean on her buzzer for an hour’ until she calls ‘the cops.’)

happy groundhog’s day!

Thursday, February 2nd, 2006

groundhog’s day revolution

is W still a drunk?

Tuesday, January 10th, 2006

I like to point out that there are only two kinds of grownups in modern American life who show up in public with as many contusions, lacerations, and bruises on their faces on such a regular basis as George W. Bush:

1. Prizefighters; and

2. Falling down drunks.

happy new year

Sunday, January 1st, 2006

and a joyous Hogmanay to all of you.

Sidenote: there’s actually words to Auld Lang Syne. For example, listen closely to Jimi Hendrix’s version

an anthropologist’s [hic] analysis of pub culture

Monday, December 26th, 2005

The distinguished Social Issues Research Centre of Oxford selflessly conducted a lengthy analysis of British pub etiquette, the mores and customs of the pub.

Good for them.

biodiesel/ethanol fuels may be MORE destructive

Thursday, December 8th, 2005

Interesting commentary on the trendiness of biodiesel, raising an issue that even lil ol me had thought of before: like, isn’t growing crops to convert to oil to burn in your cars like, totally inefficient? Answer: yes. While it’s more efficient as a recycling measure to convert used fryer oil, etc., to biodiesel, it’s more efficient for business to simply extract it from palm oil, soybeans, etc. Which is much more inefficient (in fact, harmful) in environmental terms. Full circle.

We are so screwed.

home genetics lab

Saturday, February 12th, 2005

Extract DNA with simple tools around the home!. I’m just excited that they’re using Fred Meyer brand peas.